Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit napakaraming taong mapangmaliit at ang tingin sa sarili’y napakataas na animo’y hindi na kayang maabot ng sinuman. Porke nasa rurok sila ng kagalingan ganun na lang kung makapanglait ng kakayahan. Ba’t hindi mo kaya subukang lumingon sa iyong pinanggalingan? Diba’t isa ka rin naman noong mangmang?
Once, there was this girl who used to join singing contests and used to sing in front of many people. 1, 2, 3 contests in school. She always go for the sake of grades and for extra curricular activities. Until one time, a very humiliating event happened. It was their school intramural and she’s the one that’s chosen to represent their team in a singing contest. She wasn’t confident about it but just for her not to fail the whole team, she did join. The day of the contest came and she is totally nervous about it. Her mentor asked her if everything is okay and she said yes. She reached the stage, looked at the audience and suddenly an unease feeling haunted her. The music played. She started singing. She forgot the lyrics. She go on with her performance until she remember the lyrics again and ‘til again, forgot them. She looked in everyone’s eyes, knowing that they’re disappointed at her. She felt a hundred times humiliation. She hated it. She stopped singing. Until an opportunity bid hello again. It was her former classmate and now boyfriend that she’ll be with. The performance went a-okay because her boyfriend really nailed it while she just stand there. She did sang but felt to herself that it wasn’t enough.
Now, after three years, this girl pulled up again with the courage and accepted the once nightmare stuff for her — which is singing. It was March 9, 2012. In their final exam for their subject Art Appreciation. After three years, she did sang again in front of the crowd. What she found amusing that day was that she haven’t felt any nervousness and the “I-can’t-make-it” feeling. She put her best, felt the stage, the light, everything. After her performance, she believe she did great and she’s contented to what she did. She felt proud because she made it. She received good comments about it.
But the day after her performance.. there’s these people who keeps of making fun of her accent. “A simple complication, miscommunication.~” and the way she moved through the whole performance. Until now, those people just can’t get rid of it. SHE HATE IT A LOT. SHE WANTS THEM TO KNOW THAT “HEY! THAT CAN’T HELP.” She is losing again her self-confidence.
Sometimes, I just want to slap people in the face and just say you’re not helping. If they only knew that it took a lot of confidence and courage for me to step to that stage and perform.
Do they even know what I gone through? Wow, I’m starting to lose faith in humanity.