I’ve learned to see the beauty beyond the cracks and rough edges of broken things. If you wonder if there is, well, there is. The beauty exists beneath all those blankets of loneliness and antiquity. There is beauty within those twisted fences, scratched lampshades, and torn wrists. There is beauty within those wet mascara dripping underneath those lashes, those torn hearts on summer nights and the ripped pages of encyclopedias. It is beyond your eyes, the beauty, because you just have to realize that the broken has stories, has lessons to tell. The broken has the past to share you with, but the perfect… The perfect has nothing to say for all is done, and completed. To be perfect means you have met the end. That’s why I am broken.

I am alive.

16th day of the month. It’s supposed to be our day but I am here having a me time while my folks are at the nearby store. I hate how I am having a heavy heart. The heart that doesn’t know what to feel anymore. Exhausted of everything. Too tired of figuring things out. Too tired of seeing what I am not supposed to see. Too tired of suppresing. Too tired of everything.
Hi, I’m currently here at Starbucks Mezza, would you mind to come along and hear my stories?

16th day of the month. It’s supposed to be our day but I am here having a me time while my folks are at the nearby store. I hate how I am having a heavy heart. The heart that doesn’t know what to feel anymore. Exhausted of everything. Too tired of figuring things out. Too tired of seeing what I am not supposed to see. Too tired of suppresing. Too tired of everything.

Hi, I’m currently here at Starbucks Mezza, would you mind to come along and hear my stories?

So let me tell you about the story behind the epic fail photo.
Supposed to be, as what you’ve read in my post last night, I am in Tanay, Rizal right now for our RE 501’s Pilgrimage but due to the heavy weather the event was cancelled. This morning is one of the most hassle morning ever! I can’t believe I’d experience something like that. The call time for that Pilgrimage is 5:30 in the morning and boy I live in Bulacan so I’ll travel much early than everyone. I left our house at 4:30 am, having clueless if the event will still push through because our professor isn’t texting our class representative. On the way, I am texting my blockmates asking infos and even lurking in twitter. Thank God, they finally announced that the Pilgrimage is cancelled at 5 am right before the bus turn to NLEX. I immediately went down the bus and looked for jeepney and buses that I can ride home. The streets are dark and I am a girl and most of the people that’s also looking for a ride are boys. I thank God for for guiding me and for the courage that He gave me earlier. I waited for almost an hour and that picture is the product of boredom while waiting. I regret not taking serious photos! I was shy because the people there might think that I am crazy for taking photos of streets at dawn so I sneakily captured that photo. After an hour or so, finally a bus arrived and I reached home safe and sound. :-)

So let me tell you about the story behind the epic fail photo.

Supposed to be, as what you’ve read in my post last night, I am in Tanay, Rizal right now for our RE 501’s Pilgrimage but due to the heavy weather the event was cancelled. This morning is one of the most hassle morning ever! I can’t believe I’d experience something like that. The call time for that Pilgrimage is 5:30 in the morning and boy I live in Bulacan so I’ll travel much early than everyone. I left our house at 4:30 am, having clueless if the event will still push through because our professor isn’t texting our class representative. On the way, I am texting my blockmates asking infos and even lurking in twitter. Thank God, they finally announced that the Pilgrimage is cancelled at 5 am right before the bus turn to NLEX. I immediately went down the bus and looked for jeepney and buses that I can ride home. The streets are dark and I am a girl and most of the people that’s also looking for a ride are boys. I thank God for for guiding me and for the courage that He gave me earlier. I waited for almost an hour and that picture is the product of boredom while waiting. I regret not taking serious photos! I was shy because the people there might think that I am crazy for taking photos of streets at dawn so I sneakily captured that photo. After an hour or so, finally a bus arrived and I reached home safe and sound. :-)

I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me”. Philippians 4:13

“For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.” Acts 14:22

Life can be tough most of the times. Sometimes all you can do is accept all of the challenges without even knowing how to face them. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade as the cliche goes by. Make the most out of those challenges. There are times wherein I don’t know what to do, I almost came to the point wherein I asked Him why are we having this kind of problem? Why can’t everything be just okay? Plain and simple? I realized that life without circumstances is just so boring. Challenges just adds up to our life’s adventure. Just like a french fries that’s needed to be poured with salt for it to taste good.

As I surrendered myself to Him, I finally know how to calm when there’s struggles. When I remember the three verses above, I know that it’s God himself talking to me that just keep calm and that he’s on hold of everything. When in doubt, pray. When confused, pray. Now I know that everything is part of His plans. We just have to trust and have faith in Him.

100% Perfect Girl by Haruki Murakami

One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo’s fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.

Tell you the truth, she’s not that good-looking. She doesn’t stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn’t young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a “girl,” properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She’s the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there’s a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.

Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you’re drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I’ll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.

But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can’t recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It’s weird.

“Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl,” I tell someone.

“Yeah?” he says. “Good-looking?”

“Not really.”

“Your favorite type, then?”

“I don’t know. I can’t seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts.”

“Strange.”

“Yeah. Strange.”

“So anyhow,” he says, already bored, “what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?”

“Nah. Just passed her on the street.”

She’s walking east to west, and I west to east. It’s a really nice April morning.

Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I’d really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.

After talking, we’d have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.

Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.

How can I approach her? What should I say?

“Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?”

Ridiculous. I’d sound like an insurance salesman.

“Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?”

No, this is just as ridiculous. I’m not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who’s going to buy a line like that?

Maybe the simple truth would do. “Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me.”

No, she wouldn’t believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you’re not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I’d probably go to pieces. I’d never recover from the shock. I’m thirty-two, and that’s what growing older is all about.

We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can’t bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She’s written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she’s ever had.

I take a few more strides and turn: She’s lost in the crowd. 

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.

Oh, well. It would have started “Once upon a time” and ended “A sad story, don’t you think?” 

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.

One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.

“This is amazing,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you’re the 100% perfect girl for me.”

“And you,” she said to him, “are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I’d pictured you in every detail. It’s like a dream.”

They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It’s a miracle, a cosmic miracle.

As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one’s dreams to come true so easily?

And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, “Let’s test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other’s 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we’ll marry then and there. What do you think?”

“Yes,” she said, “that is exactly what we should do.”

And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.

The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other’s 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.

One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season’s terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence’s piggy bank.

They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.

Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.

One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:

She is the 100% perfect girl for me.

He is the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.

A sad story, don’t you think? 

Yes, that’s it, that is what I should have said to her.

(Source: faroffdistance)